Tag Archives: Happiness

Friends at work

How would you respond: “I have a best friend at work” (yes? no?)

Research by the Gallup Organization, based on surveys of 10 million people, reveals that this is one of the best predictors of an organisation’s successful performance. (Note 1)

Why is having a ‘best friend at work’ important? Friends:

  • Provide a source of emotional support and offer encouragement
  • Help reduce stress and increase health
  • Affect our biology and help lower blood pressure
  • Engender trust, which is critical for success at work
  • Provide positive, contagious energy
  • Add meaning in our lives
  • Value, tolerate, appreciate us and cheer us on
  • Are more likely to engage in sharing information, and conversing in non-threatening ways

Friends at work are vital to one’s engagement, satisfaction and motivation at work.

“When you don’t have a friend at work there is no-one to brag to, you can’t share the successes and savour the good moments.” (A client, August 2007)

Gallup’s research shows that:

  • People who have a “best friend” at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their work
  • Close friendships at work boosts employee satisfaction by almost 50%
  • The quality of the friendships is the best predictor of happiness and life satisfaction
  • People with at least three close friends at work were 46% more likely to be extremely satisfied with their job and 88% more likely to be satisfied with their life

Why does it have to be a ‘best’ friend?’ Isn’t having friendships at work dangerous? “Gallup itself would have dropped the statement if not for one stubborn fact: it predicts performance. Something about a deep sense of affiliation with the people in an employee’s team drives him/her to do positive things for the business he/she otherwise would not do…..Subsequent large-scale, multi-company analyses confirmed that this question is a scientifically salient ingredient in obtaining a number of [critical] business-relevant outcomes.” (Note 2)

From the Australian Financial Review (7 August 2007)

“It may be time to revise the saying that work and private lives should not mix. A survey from the US shows that employees believe productivity improves when colleagues are also friends….63% of employees think being pals is better for business.”

From the Australian Financial Review’s Boss Magazine (May 2007)

“Research shows that employees who have a friendly relationship with the boss that doesn’t overstep the mark are usually happier and more productive.”

“The best managers encourage friendships in the workplace by creating the conditions under which such relationships thrive.” (Note 2)

Is ‘nurturing friendships’ in your strategic business plan?
In your personal development plan, where do ‘friendships’ feature?
What are you doing to be a better friend to your co-workers?
What are you doing to create an environment at work in which friendships can flourish?


(1) The Gallup Organization developed their Q12 in the late 1990s. The Q12 comprises the twelve questions which are most powerful in explaining employees’ productive motivations on the job i.e. whether people are engaged, not engaged, or actively disengaged at work. Gallup now has 10 million sets of responses, in 41 languages across 114 countries.

(2) “12: The Elements of Great Managing” Rodd Wagner & James Harter (2006)

(3) Other sources: “Social Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman (2006), and “Vital Friends” by Tom Rath (2006)


This article…
…aims to provide you and your teams with information for your professional and personal development. Topics are based on areas of interest raised by clients and colleagues, with material drawn from journals, books, articles and shared experiences.

© Amanda Horne Pty Ltd, September 2007

Happiness is no laughing matter

June 2007

Earlier this month 3,500 people attended the 2nd Happiness & Its Causes conference in Sydney. This successful event attracted a diverse group of highly respected national and international speakers from many disciplines.

Below are quotes or paraphrased points which sum up some of the very interesting topics covered.

Many thanks to Karen Horne (my sister, friend, the creative talent in my life, my website designer, and the source for much of the information below), and Judyth Wiley (friend, executive coach and marketing consultant, who also contributed to this newsletter).

When reading these, consider a range of perspectives: how this applies to you, relationships, colleagues, your workplace, community.

Venerable Robina Courtin, Director, Liberation Prison Project, Australia and USA:

“Deal with what’s there – from this comes peace of mind”

“The goodness within us defines us”

“The neuroses do not define us and can be removed”

“27 people tell you you’re good and you’re hungry to hear it, but you don’t believe it”

“1 person criticises you and you hear it and believe it”

“It is the hardest thing to know your mind. It takes confidence.”

“We don’t eat food which makes us sick, but we don’t apply the same to thoughts which make us sick”

Corey Keyes, Associate Professor, Emory University, Atlanta USA:

“Only 25% of us are flourishing, functioning well and feeling good”

“The absence of mental health is a greater burden on society than the existence of mental illness”

“Health is more than the absence of illness, it’s the presence of something positive”

“Focusing on happiness is no laughing matter”

Dr James Franklin, Associate Professor, School of Mathematics and Statistic, UNSW:

“Happy people have more to give”

Natasha Mitchell, presenter “All In The Mind”, ABC Radio National:

“Service to others and reaching out to others is the key. It’s not about us, it’s about community”

Amanda Gordon, President Australian Psychological Association:

“We spend our life noticing the bit that’s missing”

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso:

“Modern Education should include warm-heartedness and inner values.” (Children are growing up fearful and insecure)

“Genuine, unbiased, compassion is based on respect of others’ rights, regardless of their attitude towards yourself” (as opposed to spontaneous love/compassion which is based on others’ attitude towards yourself), “It is not spontaneous, but can be learned and developed through training the mind”

“Mental pains and emotions are deeper and more serious than sensory discomforts. We need to work on our mental emotions.”

“This does not require religious faith, just secular ethics and science.”

“Happiness is the peaceful mind, the subdued mind. This is a daily, active pursuit.”

“Happiness comes when reality exceeds expectation. So you can work on either increasing your reality or decreasing your expectation.”

Clive Hamilton, Executive Director, The Australia Institute:

“To get what you want, you first have to give up wanting….allow your life to unfold”

Howard Cutler, Psychiatrist, Arizona USA, and co-author with the Dalai Lama The Art of Happiness:

“Our happiness is linked to the happiness for others around us”

“There are many ways to happiness, but training the mind is a direct path”

Richard Eckersely, Social Analyst, Australian National University:

“Giving other greater opportunity to improve their wellbeing (that is, to increase population health) means changing society, not just ourselves”

Regarding the social and personal perspectives on happiness, Richard offers a different approach for addressing happiness at a social level: see www.fairshareinternational.org, for the 5-10-5-10 principle.

Dr. Julian Short, Psychiatrist:

“Treat people with respect and caring. We want to belong”

Dr Ian Gawler, OAM, Therapeutic Director, The Gawler Foundation:

“When people are clear and comfortable in themselves, this allows true relationship to be established and deepened”

Barbara Pocock, Professor, Director, Centre for Work + Life, University of South Australia:

“Long hours damage our social fabric”

“We need decent work and decent work conditions”

Salim Lee, Director, Regents Garden Group, Perth:

“Don’t waste this precious life”

“We are happiest when making others happy”

Discussion Panel on Resilience and Adversity:

– The power of a sense of humour in the face of adversity

– No matter how awful a situation you must learn from it. (Live your life and share with other people)

– Emotions are the royal road to the soul

– From personal pain, depression, people have learnt tolerance, empathy etc.

– 80% of surveyed people would NOT take a happy pill even if it was free and had no side effects. The downs are important too.

– How to deal with Pain and Loss: you need a calm mental attitude – the strong foundation of a healthy mental immune system.

– You need the wisdom to look at things from different angles – past the illusion. A wholistic view.

– Happiness is a political as well as personal responsibility. We should try to effect political change.

– A nation based on materialistic values ends up with a society that lives by these values. (eg Bhutan – rates gross national happiness higher importance than gross national product)

Garry McDonald, Board member: beyondblue; actor; anxiety sufferer:

Problem: we want a quick, easy solution…. but it takes constant mental training and discipline – eg athletes train daily

Keep conditioning your mind or it will run rampant

Meditation really helps. Even if you only still your mind for 1 minute a day, it rejuvenates and de-stresses

Stephanie Dowrick, Interfaith Minister, Author of Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love:

The rational mind does not understand forgiveness

Forgiveness is an act of love; is acceptance that things go wrong.

When forgiveness if most difficult, we learn the most from it eg courage, tolerance, patience, generosity, restraint.

Panel on Trauma & recovery:

The purpose is to learn something from the trauma – whether personal or large scale (eg the recent Tsunami)

There is no recipe for recovery

Tread lightly on the planet.

Cultivate inner peace.

Show by example. If you want peace, show your inner peace.

Rachel Kohn, Presenter ABC Radio National, The Spirit of Things:

“Remember life at any moment can turn to less. We are busy wanting more.”

“Buddha said: Time changes all things. Not recognising this is the source of all pain.”

Dr Anthony Grant, Director, Coaching School of Psychology, Sydney University:

“Deferring happiness to later, working hard now and putting wellbeing on hold, leads to stress and depression”

“What is the quality of the conversation?”

This article…

…aims to provide you and your teams with information for your professional and personal development. Topics are based on areas of interest raised by clients and colleagues, with material drawn from journals, books, articles and shared experiences.

© Amanda Horne Pty Ltd, April 2007